The Wheel-of-Awareness (How to get unstuck on an emotion)

We all feel big emotions, and sometimes we can get STUCK on one. 

One tool I’ve found very helpful is something I got from Siegel and Bryson in

“The Whole-Brain Child”.

It’s called the wheel-of-awareness model.

The wheel-of-awareness helps us recognize all things going on and gives us the power to choose what holds our attention, so that we don’t have to be ‘stuck’ on one. 

How can we think of this wheel? 

Imagine a wheel. 

Now on each rim of the wheel is what we can be aware of at this moment; sensations, feelings, thoughts, memories, perceptions, dreams. 

For example, right now, I am aware of: “I am hungry, what do I want for dinner?, ugh, ___ really made me mad yesterday, my feet are cold, my best friend’s baby shower is this week and I still need to wrap the gift! I’m still hungry.”

Your child has a wheel too.

Their wheel of awareness may go more like this: “I want to play that new game on mom’s phone, my brother keeps following me and it’s annoying me, I like the bubble gum I’m chewing, I wonder if Lizzy is on Roblox right now. I liked swinging at recess today.” 

You try it. What are you aware of right now?

Now, what do we do with this and why is it important? 

Well, exercising the ability of awareness gives us the freedom to choose what grabs and holds our attention.

When you, or your child, feel “stuck”, you can step away from that feeling, worry, or thought and decide if that’s really what you want to have your attention.

Let me paint you a picture of a real life situation using the wheel vs. not. 

Without using Awareness: 

Your child is annoyed at their younger sibling. Your child notices the sibling keeps tapping his pencil. They are "stuck" on the annoyance they feel from the disruptive sound. Your child focuses more and more on that sound until all of their patience is spent and you hear “STOP TAPPING YOUR PENCIL!!!!” 

Wheel-of-Awareness: 

Your child is annoyed at their younger sibling. Your child notices the sibling keeps tapping his pencil. Your child wants to scream, ”STOP!”, but considers what else is happening around them. They remember practicing being aware and think of their awareness; the cookies on the counter, the hard math homework, the pencil tapping, their room with the new string lights. Ah! Idea. Your child decides to go into their room where it’s quiet to finish what they are doing.

This small example just scratches the surface of how this tool can be used. Will it fix every problem? No, but it is a tool for you and them.

Practice makes perfect.. use these steps to teach it to your kids: 

• Explain it in a way that may make sense to your child. You can use the idea of a wheel, or maybe explain it as a phone with different apps, or if you really want to have fun, think of it as a Whac-A-Mole... they can whac out what they don't want to focus on!

• Engage with them by asking questions such as; How do you feel right now? Are you excited/worried/happy about anything? What is something you did today? Is your body tired or sore from sports? What’s on your wheel right now?

• Practice often. The more practice, the better you and your child will become at this. Practice in the car when there is silence. Practice after the day is over. Practice after a really fun day! 

Practice, so that the next time your child seems to be "stuck", prompt them to notice and become aware of everything else going on within them. Empower them with the reminder that they get to choose what to focus on! They don't have to stay stuck!

Hope this helps! 

Olivia